Friday, July 23, 2010


Trust is an interesting thing. I mean, think about it. When you trust someone you give them a part of yourself, give them control over a part of you emotionally. It's healthy to trust people though- if you don't have anyone to confide in, anyone who understands even just a part of you, you'll end up extremely lonely, among other things. It's a fine line though, trusting people. I'd like to say that you should trust everyone completely, but you just can't. You'll end up getting used and hurt and walked all over time and time again. Most people in the world can be trusted, but the select group that can't ruin it for everyone else.

I've got a good friend who is a perfect example of a trusting person. I admire it a bit, actually. She always gives people the benefit of the doubt, and she can easily give her heart over to someone without any qualms. I, myself, am a cynic. I can't help it, it's who I am. I like to think I'm friendly and outgoing, but I have a hard time entrusting myself to other people. I'm used to being in control, and I have a hard time handling it when I'm not, which means I tend to take a long time to trust people.

The two of us are pretty much opposites in this regard, as you probably gathered. The problem is, neither are really ideal. I bottle things inside- I've got plenty of friends who trust me with their stresses and problems, and I even know that I should trust them, I've got no reason not to, but I can't. It's not healthy to keep everything to myself, and I know it. My friend is different from me, but no better off, really. She assumes the best of everyone, trusts most people easily. Unfortunately this means she gets hurt a lot. Everyone likes her because she's so friendly, but everyone has also figured out how trusting she is, and that's been taken advantage of time and time again.

While I get overloaded by my emotions, problems, and issues that I keep all to myself, she opens up far too easily and doesn't know how to protect herself. Neither is beneficial or healthy, but there's only so much we can each do to try to fix it. I need to learn to open up, she needs to learn to protect her heart. Both are necessary skills to have, and we're each lacking in one of them. There's a happy medium that neither of us have managed to achieve. It's something I need to work on, and I know it.

It's a strange thing, trust. I'd like to say that everyone should be trusted completely, but that's not how it works. There are far too many people who enjoy gossiping far too much to be trusted. I've run into that recently. There are so many rumors going around, and I just wonder what makes the people telling these rumors think it's ok to spread them. Whether they're true or not, it's bad stuff, and it's that person's business. If you want to know, go back to the source, don't speculate to other people. It's juvenile, and it's low, and it's one of those things in this world that I just can't stand. Gossip, consequently, is also one of the things that I think have made me so cynical. I know far too many people who gossip about anything and everything they hear, and I don't want things about me spread around, so I just don't tell people things.

Despite the fact that I have a hard time trusting other people, I have decided that I'm going to be a person that can be trusted. There are far too many people who can't be trusted for a multitude of reasons, but I don't want to be a part of that. It's because of those untrustworthy people that there are cynics like me, and it's because of that that I strive to be trustworthy. I tend to think it's an important trait to have, and I hope someday the rest of the world will realize that.

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