Saturday, January 23, 2010


It’s January. It’s a brand new year. Resolutions are made, some already broken. I made a resolution; I may actually be able to keep it this year, which is pretty exciting. This year, I am motivated (that’s part of the resolution, but not the whole thing). I am determined to actually do something worthwhile instead of just going to classes and getting my homework done on time.

I’m going to start off by saying that I am leaving for Japan TOMORROW. And it’s terrifying. But exciting. I’ll be there for four months, which is the longest I’ve spent away from home ever. It’s also on the other side of the planet, which is a big deal. I have absolutely no idea what I’m going to be doing over there besides taking classes and being a tourist, but I feel like God’s got a plan, so I’m just going to go with it. If it feels right that’s got to mean something, I think.

This last year I started seriously writing. I’ve always liked to write, tinkering around with short stories and novels that never got finished (or even really started), but in 2009 I really started doing stuff, this blog as proof. I’ve got a few short stories that I don’t think are terrible; a butt load of poems, some good, others not as wonderful; I started a book that I will finish and attempt to get published; I’ve even got a few songs. I’m writing, and I’m letting people read some of it (which never happened in the past). I’m getting serious about a career in writing, and I think this year is bringing big things.

These are two big issues in my life right now, but they’re not the only ones. There are other things that are also very prevalent at the present time. For the first time some things (which are going to remain unnamed on public internet for now) finally feel right. That’s never happened before, and if that’s not a God thing, what is? I feel like I know where I’m supposed to be going, and I’m determined to get there, no matter how hard it is. I’m not alone on this journey, so I know I’ll make it.

My point here is that I’m finally motivated to do things, to get stuff done. Most of my life I’ve just kind of drifted through. I mean, I always worked hard, getting good grades in school, doing my very best in whatever extracurricular activities I happened to be in at the time, but I never had an ultimate destination, a long-term goal to work towards. I do now, and I find myself wishing I had found it earlier.

I think what I’ve found is that motivation is really, really important. A person should always be working for something. It doesn’t matter if they change their mind once, twice, a hundred times; as long as they have a goal and are really trying for it, they’ll figure it out eventually. The worst thing someone can do to his- or herself is to be stagnant, to not try. If you keep doing the same thing you’ve always done, you’ll always get the same results you’ve always gotten. I don’t think that’s what anyone wants. Change is scary, but it’s inevitable; you might as well make it productive and what you want.

The ostensible goal in life is to have a great job, lots of money, spouse and 2.5 kids, blah blah blah. I say imagine your own utopia and work towards that. My ideal job likely does not have a lot of money in it, but I don’t care. If it makes me happy, that’s what counts, isn’t it?

God’s got a plan for me, and I’m determined to figure it out the best I can and make it happen. For the first time I’m motivated. It’s scarier than I ever would have thought, but in the end I know it’s going to be worth it.

P.S. Prayers for me are greatly appreciated. Safe travel, health, stress, the like. Thanks much. ^_^