Sunday, November 29, 2015
Many things have happened in the last 4+ years of my life. I graduated university, got a job, moved to Japan. My best friend got married, my sister engaged. I fell out of love, in love with someone else, and am in the process of dragging myself out of that again. Got some more piercings. Made some new friends, lost some others. Most of all, I like to think I've grown as a person. I'm a little afraid to go back and read some of my past entries on this, but maybe I should, just to remind myself where I've come from. And I probably shouldn't delete them, even if I want to. Especially if I want to, even. I mean, that's how it goes, isn't it? If you don't want to clean your toilet, then it's probably time you should. If you want to sit in your sweatpants and eat popcorn all day, you probably shouldn't. Not that I'm a great example of doing all the things I should and not doing all the things I shouldn't, but hey. At least I know what I should and shouldn't be doing. That's a step, right?
That is, after all, one of the things I've learned about growing up. Ten years ago I thought I knew everything; five years ago I thought I knew a lot of stuff; now I'm pretty darn sure that I know next to nothing. And when you realize that you don't actually know anything, that means you've learned something, right? You've become one inch closer to being a capable human being. Not that anyone actually is a capable human being, I'm pretty sure, but hey. It's something to strive for.
Honestly I'm not sure what I wanted to talk about in this blog, I just wanted to post something. Maybe from here on out I'll post more often. Maybe not. We'll see. No promises. For the meantime, I'll give you a link for a song, as I feel like I used to do that?
Hello Sleepwalkers - Ray of Sunlight
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Sunday, January 23, 2011
What happened? (Who knows?)
When did we lose touch? (ditto)
Why did we lose touch? (…)
Was it because of college? (… quite possibly, at least indirectly)
Have they changed? (Some of them, yes; some habits, yes; others not.)
Have I changed? (Yes.)
Do I know anything about them anymore? (Not really, not anything important)
Do they know anything about me? (Probably not.)
Do they still think about high school sometimes? (I hope so.)
Would I ever want to go back to high school? (Goodness gracious no, but I’m glad for all the experiences, good and bad.)
Do they think they still know me? (I bet a lot of them think I haven’t changed.)
What would it be like, to get all of us together again? (A bit of a terrifying thought.)
Do I even want that to happen? (Good question.)
It’s strange to think about. “Nostalgia” is probably not the right word for what I’m feeling/thinking right now, but something similar, without the wistfulness bit. It’s been less than three years since I graduated high school, and yet I feel like I’m not the same person at all. I mean, heck, I’m not even the same person I was one year ago, that’s for sure. Some people *ahem-some-of-you-know-who-I’m-talking-about-here-ahem* seem to be upset by the fact that I’ve changed; others not.
The girls especially, I see pictures of what these people have become, and I honestly thank God that I did not turn out that way. Lots of these people are exactly the same, in their own way. Maybe that doesn’t make sense to you, but think about it for a second. I can elaborate sometime, if you want. Comment. Let me know.
Time passes so quickly. Exactly one year ago tomorrow I was getting on a plane to go to Japan. I’ve already been there, had the time of my life, met some unforgettable people, some of the best and most influential, thought-provoking people I’ve met in my life, and come back completely changed. My plans for the future changed completely. I thought I knew what I wanted, but due to quite a few circumstances (including, but not exclusively Japan) I’m not so sure anymore. I do know that it’s got pretty much nothing to do with anything I thought in high school, or even the beginning of university.
Interesting stuff. Weird, fascinating, strange stuff. Too bad I don't get to speculate more tonight though. Classes start, for me, at 8am tomorrow morning, only this year they’re in Wisconsin, not Hirakata. Boring. Well who knows, maybe there’s something exciting in store for me this semester that I don’t know anything about yet. I can hope.